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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level
and beat you with experience -
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
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If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
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War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station
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Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
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I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
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A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness..
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You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
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You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
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To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
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Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
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Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
Courtesy of Peter Thomson
Great stuff! I love so many, but I think No. 5 is my favorite (today, anyway). Perhaps I’ll reread on Monday.
Glad you enjoyed it.
I thought it was amusing when Pete sent it through.