Being a Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, I appreciated this one from guy-sports.com

51sSK3e5bSL._SS500_[1]A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.

‘In English’, he said, ‘A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.’

A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, ‘Yeah, right!

image from Amazon.co.uk


Tomato Wisdom | THG’s Blog

From my friend, Tracy’s blog

Three tomatoes are walking down the road. A mummy tomato, daddy tomato and a baby tomato. Baby tomato falls behind so daddy tomato huffs and puffs and calls ketch-up to baby tomato… (Source: ‘Pulp Fiction’) 

Jokes and Quotes | www.comedy-zone.net

Amplify’d from www.comedy-zone.net

“It is only too easy to catch people’s attention by doing something worse than anyone else has dared to do it before.” ~ Charivari on Claude Monet

“The stupid person’s idea of a clever person.” ~ Elizabeth Bowen on Aldous Huxley

Capture“The biggest no-talent I ever worked with.” ~ Paul Cohen on Buddy Holly

“A hyena that wrote poetry in tombs.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante

“He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting ‘Fox’s Book of Martyrs’ in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats.” ~ Roger Gellert on John Cleese

“If people don’t sit at Chaplin’s feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting.” ~ Herman J. Mankiewicz

“Actually, I never liked Dylan’s kind of music before; I always thought he sounded just like Yogi Bear.” ~ Mick Ronson

“Here lies my wife: here let her lie ! Now she’s at rest and so am I” ~ John Dryden on his wife

“I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.” ~ Groucho Marx




“I knew right away that Rock Hudson was gay when he did not fall in love with me.” ~ Gina Lollogrigida on Rock Hudson

“Is he just doing a bad Elvis pout, or was he born that way?” ~ Freddie Mercury on Billy Idol

“He was happily married ~ but his wife wasn’t.” ~ Victor Borge talking about Mozart


Read more at www.comedy-zone.net

Minding Fear


“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear”

~ Rosa Parks

source brainyquote.com and bbc.co.uk

Rosa Louise McCauley Parks (February 4, 1913 – October 24, 2005)

African American civil rights activist – referred to as “the first lady of civil rights” by the U.S. Congress.

In 1955 Parks refused to give up her seat on a bus to a white woman, as ordered by the driver, James Blake.

Although she was not the first African American woman to refuse to give up her seat, her action sparked the Montgomery Bus Boycott and became an important symbol of the modern Civil Rights Movement, in the U.S.

She became an international icon of resistance to racial segregation and organized and collaborated with civil rights leaders, such as Martin Luther King, Jr. – She was party to his rise in the civil rights movement.

She later received many honours including the Congressional Gold Medal and a following her death, in 2005, a statue was placed in Washington DC

source wikipedia

Ian Dury – Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll

I recently watched a biography of Ian Dury and it all came flooding back:
……. Ian Dury, Chaz Jankel, The Blockheads.

Born Ian Robins Dury on 12 May 1942 in Harrow, he contracted Polio as a child and was classed as disabled and yet in 1981 , the International Year of Disabled Persons, Dury showed his disdain in his song “Spasticus Autisticus”. He thought it was patronising and unhelpful

He died at the age of 57 on 27th March, 2000.

He was a surprising and highly individual man having a musical style of his own somewhere between Rock and Roll, Punk, New Wave, Funk, Jazz, Good Old Cockney and all including his own unique poetry – usually adult.

Later in life he was a member of  the Royal Shakespeare Company – such was the depth of his talent

Chaz Jankel’s song ‘Ai No Corrida’  was covered by Quincy Jones, who had a smash hit with it. You can gather from this the talent. Chaz Jankels’s sister Annabel Jankel was the creator of ‘m-m-m-m  Max Headroom’

I came across Dury watching a Simulcast on BBC 2 television with BBC Radio 1. Television sound was Monaural but with Radio 1 producing Stereophonic sound. This was the time of his superb album “New Boot and Panties” – not for the faint hearted!!

1. Wake up and Make Love With Me (Dury/Jankel) – 4:21
2. Sweet Gene Vincent (Dury/Jankel) – 3:32
3. I’m Partial to Your Abracadabra (Dury/Jankel) – 3:12
4. My Old Man (Dury/Nugent) – 3:38
5. Billericay Dickie (Dury/Nugent) – 4:15
6. Clevor Trever (Dury/Jankel) – 4:53
7. Is I Was With a Woman (Dury/Jankel) – 3:23
8. Blockheads (Dury/Jankel) – 3:30
9. Plaistow Patricia (Dury/Nugent) – 4:12
10. Blackmail Man (Dury/Nugent) – 2:14
11. Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll [#] (Dury/Jankel) – 3:12
12. Razzle in My Pocket [#] (Dury/Jankel) – 2:55
13. You’re More Than Fair [#] (Dury/Hardy) – 2:58
14. England’s Glory [live/#] (Dury/Melvin) – 3:27
15. What a Waste! [#] (Dury/Gallagher/Turnbull/Watt-Roy/Charles/Melvin) – 3:26

This album contained tracks like “Billericay Dicky” about  the explicit love life of  Billericay Dicky. …. # Had a love affair with Nina in the back of my Cortina (Ford) ….#
and yet despite all this he and the Blockheads had extraordinary talent and produced extraordinary lyrics:

Einstein can’t be classed as witless.
He claimed atoms were the littlest
When you did a bit of splittin’-ness
Frightened everybody ****less”

~ from There ain’t half been some clever ***tards


Wonderfull stuff!
(very naughty but nice)

source AyPee, clashmusic.com, wikipedia.org .iandury.co.uk, amazon.co.uk