Here is an article I put together exactly 1 year ago. I wonder just how much has changed..
I get how closed people are becoming and within the 30 year old sector there is almost a need to lie to avoid hurting the feelings or status quo of others.
May the truth set you free! I believe that it is not our need to be happy, rather that we be free, because if we are free then we set others free.
Stay great BE awesome

AyPee's Funteresting Blog

I was interested to read articles on the BBC News websiteYahoo, and watch a BBC TV News story about diminishing Integrity, in the UK.

The Essex Centre for the Study of Integrity, at Essex University, have carried out a research and there is a PDF, available for download from their web site There is also an Integrity test that you can take and you can find this at

integrityThe study includes comparisons :
by Social Background,   by Occupational Status,   by Age Group,   how standards have changed between 2000 and 2011 and   measurements for 20 European Countries, from Russia the most honest to Portugal ….. naughty naughty!

     The UK seems to rank 14th … oh dear!

It seems that we are telling lies more and that the standards under which we lie are changing – I guess 

like everything else, it seems to be getting…

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Great first article from Paul Cosens

Secrets of Successful Transformation

For those of you practicing NLP and enjoying, I want to offer you an interesting, effective way of removing the basis for your client ‘having a problem’.  Just in case you are ‘having the thought’, this might be something mysteriously magical then stop!  I haven’t started to explain to you the basis for people formulating the very idea of a problem and above the idea of ‘having it’.

Since if we stop for a moment and consider that we don’t actually in any ‘objective’ sense have anything, we can be very ‘free’ mentally and actually.  The notion of possession is purely a notion and between people and peoples agreement.  We don’t in actual fact own, possess or have anything, do we?  There are things which we consider to be belonging to us or not.  This is purely a consideration.

Similarly, the client does not actually ‘have thoughts’, ‘have ideas’ or…

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Beauty is only skin deep

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned.  The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.  So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

Hot sexy lipsAfter the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty.  She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.   There is no way I could ever repay you.”

“My darling”, he replied, “think nothing of it.  I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

source various

Don’t resolve. Evolve! Why New Years Resolutions fail

 Be(-say-do-)have Yourself!

If you are (Being) different, chances are you will Say something different that will have you Do something different so that you can Have something different.

I am delighted that John La Valle has allowed me to post the article below from his monthly newsletter for ‘The Society of Neuro Linguistic Programming’ Practitioners and Trainers’.

John is the President of the society of NLP

It fascinates me how people are steered and even stuck, by the words they use in grammatical structures that they, themselves, chose!

Their own language gets in their way!
structured to impede – structured for failure

When coaching, I aim to move the client’s reasoning out of the way.

I indirectly challenge the accuracy of their memories,
increase the amount of words that I use to describe their issue and then
agree with them a new way to summarise their issue.

The greater choice of words used in better grammatical structures, the greater the possibility. Behaviour changes, the foundation is established and the work can begin.
Just my personal preference.

In his article John explains how nominalisations impact us and he offers a way out of the trap.

I believe that Nominalisation is the most damaging aspect of all people’s stories. I describe it as  the knock out punch that renders them unconscious.

I just had to ask John if I could post his article and he agreed.
Over to John:



I WROTE MOST OF this a few years ago at this time and have decided to rewrite it, add a little here and there because of its popularity.

WHAT IS IT THAT has people “make” New Year Resolutions and then “break” them? We have a local pub here that has a “Break Your New Year’s Resolutions Early – Why Wait?” party on December 30 each year. It kind of adds something to the ritual.

THE WORD *RESOLUTION* itself is a nominalization, a verb formed into a noun. It comes from the word “resolve”, which means to solve, again!! And so many people get into a pattern of re-solving old problems and then not re-solving them because they then turn the process into an event, a static event. How about EVOLUTIONS?!! Evolving continuously, doing new things, get a new look, a new walk, a new talk, a new anything!!

INSTEAD OF MAKING “Resolutions”, how about setting up new directions in which you want to be going this coming year, both personally and professionally? Now is the time to invest in yourself! The future economic predictions are that those most skilled, most savvy, most knowledgeable, are to be in the lead! The smart ones are making investments now, even in themselves!

TAKE SOME GOALS, activities, behaviours that you want to be doing, and see yourself doing those in your future, just starting in the next few moments. If you’re going to put those pictures into your future, be sure they’re of behaviours – YOURS – that’s you doing them, dissociate so you can see yourself doing them, then associate so you’ll know what you’ll be seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting. Then dissociate, see yourself doing them!! It’s in your language, too.

REMEMBER, IT’S ONE THING to have goals that are outside of yourself, like that red *Testosterosa*, but without the behaviours, you may not know how to go about getting one, or even earning the money to get one. Remember to keep YOUR goals behaviour-driven. That material thing is just the outcome of the outcome, it’s the reward for doing certain behaviours!!

And Have A Great 2013! and Beyond!

©2013 John La Valle