Spaced Out Unintended Arrogance?

I met up with a client yesterday. She was at the appointed spot ahead of time but the interesting thing was that I knew she was there five minutes before I arrived.  I just felt her presence.

As I exited Waterloo Station and headed  towards ‘The Southbank’ a conversation started in my head about people who are always late.

I remember watching a Dr Phil show where he was discussing the subject of  Continual I Like what yiu are doing with your hairLateness. One guy was talking about how he even gets up “10 minutes earlier to make sure that I am not late and I am still late!”
Dr Phil responded along the lines of “You are always late because you are arrogant”. I thought that interesting and I understand it but what occurred to me yesterday is that Fear may have the greater part to play in it.

Arrogance is the result of Fear. Maybe that is my assumption but I trust my gut so I know it is true.

I had a friend who asked me help her with her preparations for a significant court appearance. I was to meet her at a law practice at a given time and every occasion she was late – very late! AND there was always a justifiable reason. (But the law of averages tell you that is not possible)
Even when it came to the big day, she arrived  90 minutes late. Was that arrogance or was she confronted?

Clearly these are programmes that we run, we develop routines and habits to support how we manage time and commitments.

I have another friend who is always ahead of time. I like that. He, much as my client yesterday,  has gifted me with  time to spare.
Its also great because it is one less thing to be concerned about, by which I mean, one less thing to process and …

…. I love having space in my brain , I value it!

Brain Space

I don’t like having others take up my brain space, without my permission.
For me, having Brain Space is more space in which I can create and have great thoughts.

Thoughts are the real juice of life. They are the proof that we are alive. The source of our conscious reality. The source of pleasure and pain.

Byron Katie is one lady in particular who is a pleasure to watch whilst she thinks. You see it happen and you see the pleasure and it exudes from her and I get it!
That’s a gift!

So I guess compassion is the order of the day.
When people are continually late, they are probably fearful and may be avoiding or hiding it. They are probably less organised and that caused by lack of brain space
they may be blatantly arrogant and that takes planning AND BRAIN SPACE

My friend lost her appeal, by the way. I guess that was lack of space.

Reality exists in time and space – How we use time and where we use it creates our reality be it Pleasurable or Painful.

Catcha! I’m off to think pleasurable thoughts, Just gotta get me some space.



Images Southbank: 
Dr Phil: Various


7 thoughts on “Spaced Out Unintended Arrogance?

  1. Pingback: Spaced Out Unintended Arrogance? | Funteresting...

  2. I agree with Dr. Phil on this one. People who are chronically late value their own time more than they value others’ time. Yes, some people are disorganized and their brain space is full, as you say, but if others mattered to them, they would make it a priority to find some brain space to fix the problem. They don’t devote time and energy to making a change though, because they prioritize other things, presumably related to themselves.

    • Yes there appears to be no commitment to others and sometimes no commitment even to themselves. Taking the lady that lost her appeal – where is the commitment to herself?

  3. I’ve always considered time to be the most precious “commodity” that human beings can possess. It is finite and becomes more and more valuable as we grow older.

    When someone is casually late for an appointment and so wasting someone else’s time, they are not just being arrogant but are stealing this precious time from them. This is time they could have used to do something useful with, time they could have spent out of choice rather than being forced to waste it unnecessarily. It’s not simply arrogance but theft mixed with a certain amount of contempt for the value of the other persons time in comparison to theirs.

    I don’t think that consistently late people are unintentionally arrogant or spaced out but either irresponsibly lacking in empathy or simply air-heads (I suppose air-heads could be described as spaced out but that’s probably just letting them off the hook).

  4. Hi Phil
    Yes I cannot disagree with anything you say.
    Being a person who is concerned if I am going to be on time, I have a physiological need to satisfy. I feel the need to be on time and keep my word.

    I just don’t understand the motivation to be consistently late.
    Somebody else I knew was always late. They had a nervous disposition and I would watch them go into trance and busy themselves doing all those things that should have been done that day on the very moment of departure … avoidance.

    But I get there is an arrogance there because it is consistent and must have been considered at some time..

    The reality for the consistently late probably doesn’t have enough pain attached to being late. The fear of the consequence is not big enough and if fear is the cause for being late then the consequence is the lesser of the two

  5. Interesting thoughts here. I do think that chronic lateness is rooted in fearfulness. Of course most people are not aware of this fear, so they become defensive about their lateness, giving the appearance of arrogance. Shortcomings are difficult to admit and it’s a vicious painful cycle when you’re mad at yourself and the world because “you feel like you can’t get a break – no matter how hard you try it seems you just can’t seem to make it to things on time”. Of course those feelings are not rooted in truth – I say this because I have been there, and luckily I realized that my own fears were the culprit. Fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of success – like the person above said, basic avoidance issues. I am recovering from my chronic lateness, but it wasn’t an easy road.

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