Don’t resolve. Evolve! Why New Years Resolutions fail

 Be(-say-do-)have Yourself!

If you are (Being) different, chances are you will Say something different that will have you Do something different so that you can Have something different.

I am delighted that John La Valle has allowed me to post the article below from his monthly newsletter for ‘The Society of Neuro Linguistic Programming’ Practitioners and Trainers’.

John is the President of the society of NLP

It fascinates me how people are steered and even stuck, by the words they use in grammatical structures that they, themselves, chose!

Their own language gets in their way!
structured to impede – structured for failure

When coaching, I aim to move the client’s reasoning out of the way.

I indirectly challenge the accuracy of their memories,
increase the amount of words that I use to describe their issue and then
agree with them a new way to summarise their issue.

The greater choice of words used in better grammatical structures, the greater the possibility. Behaviour changes, the foundation is established and the work can begin.
Just my personal preference.

In his article John explains how nominalisations impact us and he offers a way out of the trap.

I believe that Nominalisation is the most damaging aspect of all people’s stories. I describe it as  the knock out punch that renders them unconscious.

I just had to ask John if I could post his article and he agreed.
Over to John:



I WROTE MOST OF this a few years ago at this time and have decided to rewrite it, add a little here and there because of its popularity.

WHAT IS IT THAT has people “make” New Year Resolutions and then “break” them? We have a local pub here that has a “Break Your New Year’s Resolutions Early – Why Wait?” party on December 30 each year. It kind of adds something to the ritual.

THE WORD *RESOLUTION* itself is a nominalization, a verb formed into a noun. It comes from the word “resolve”, which means to solve, again!! And so many people get into a pattern of re-solving old problems and then not re-solving them because they then turn the process into an event, a static event. How about EVOLUTIONS?!! Evolving continuously, doing new things, get a new look, a new walk, a new talk, a new anything!!

INSTEAD OF MAKING “Resolutions”, how about setting up new directions in which you want to be going this coming year, both personally and professionally? Now is the time to invest in yourself! The future economic predictions are that those most skilled, most savvy, most knowledgeable, are to be in the lead! The smart ones are making investments now, even in themselves!

TAKE SOME GOALS, activities, behaviours that you want to be doing, and see yourself doing those in your future, just starting in the next few moments. If you’re going to put those pictures into your future, be sure they’re of behaviours – YOURS – that’s you doing them, dissociate so you can see yourself doing them, then associate so you’ll know what you’ll be seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting. Then dissociate, see yourself doing them!! It’s in your language, too.

REMEMBER, IT’S ONE THING to have goals that are outside of yourself, like that red *Testosterosa*, but without the behaviours, you may not know how to go about getting one, or even earning the money to get one. Remember to keep YOUR goals behaviour-driven. That material thing is just the outcome of the outcome, it’s the reward for doing certain behaviours!!

And Have A Great 2013! and Beyond!

©2013 John La Valle