Am I Grateful for Appreciation?

I have read a lot of posts about Gratitude, particularly in the context of attracting desires into our lives or as most would say by “The Law of Attraction”.

tempWhen I was I my early twenties, I was attacked by a drug crazed idiot who went onto kick the legs away from my then fiancé and punch my mother in the face.
I cannot feel grateful for that BUT I do appreciate what that caused.
It caused very positive changes in the people involved. It could have been the entire opposite.

What then of gratitude? Can one be truly grateful for everything? Or can one be grateful for having the opportunity to experience everything?
Probably the latter.

Is one attracting things or is one attracting the experience of those things?
After all experience is no more than memory and emotions can be felt through memory or imagination – both create memories and both create experience.

“Create your own adventure because experience is all that there is” ⒸAyPee


Integrity Rant Programme Log File

<Variables string, rant, emotion, graphic>
<start programme>
<start string>
<start rant>

Thought I might steam off today and see where that took me. Forgive me my indulgence but if it helps in any way I am glad.

I get, from time to time and increasing in frequency, requests to endorse people on sites or Facebook apps such as Branchout.

I have even received endorsements from people I have never met, yet alone worked with!

As a coach, I have to be trusted and my word is very much under scrutiny. If I don’t do what I say I am going to do, then why would a client want to work with me?

More importantly, I hold my clients to their word and I can’t do that if I don’t do or be what I say I am going to. If they promise to do something I will literally hold then to their word

Integrity with another human being is vital for a workable, yet successful, relationship. Even with machinery or technology if things are not kept within the integrity of the design they breakdown. Put simply:

broken integrity = breakdown = things don’t work

Strangely within communication, words only account for 7% of what is being communicated but when trust has been broken, more often or not people will will recite the words that were used … “But you said ….”

Again, what is more interesting, is the energy that is consumed by being out of integrity way exceeds any gain that has been made! People actually get physically sick when they are out of integrity with the intention of the communication or the design in their lives.


<start graphic>
<intensify emotion>

Picture1so what of stress? How is that caused?
Look to see if things are in keeping with the design or with the intension.

What was intended is usually framed in a box called Agreement.

<end graphic>

Broken agreement = broken integrity = breakdown

And that’s why I am stressed today.

<deintensify emotion>
<end rant>
<end string>
<end programme>

<start happy programme>

Open-mouthed smile

In a Word (and more) NOT

I was just thinking about Facebook Posts that I have read, a phone call that I made and something else that I read, in the last 24 hours

We all throw caveats into what we say (or write)

literally throw! Just like ‘Throw Away’ lines.

These lines are like Fishing Lines. We throw the line out because we are fishing for something.  Dr Phil et al, would say we are seeking a Pay Off and I think maybe a Let off is probably more frequent and possibly more accurate.

The great thing about language is it’s impact!
At whatever level, all language is a declaration of intent and that language comes out of us at such high speed. Although it has structure and logic and reasoning, most of it has to come from the unconscious thinking because it is simply too fast to be processed consciously and delivered simultaneously. Its a skill and

all skills are unconscious

You don’t think about the skilful things you do, you just do them.
Ever driven to a destination and when you got there you don’t remember driving there?
You exercised your driving skill. You didn’t think about it.

BUT the great thing about the Caveat is its negativity, because

the unconscious cannot process negatives

That happens in your conscious thinking, not your unconscious thinking.

As an example, let’s review a typical greeting conversation:
“How are you?”
“I’m not too bad” –
there’s the Caveat.

The person uses badness as the measure just in case things go wrong. They declared a expectation that because things are (based on) bad then if things go bad its ok. Its a Let Off. They can’t be disappointed if things go wrong because they were almost expecting it.

What does the unconscious process?

Because it doesn’t process the negative ‘not’, it processes
“I’m not too bad”
That person just told themself that they are too bad

So why is this useful?

Because, if the unconscious cannot process negatives and all skills are unconscious then effective use of negatives can programme us positively!

Try these:
“How are you?”
I’m not too good” –
strange how saying that you are not too good, feels good.  Have you ever noticed that?

“How are you?”
I’m not too happy” –
makes you feel happy just saying that you’re not. Have you ever noticed that?

How are you?”
I’m not too wealthy” –
notice how rich that feels.

It is a ‘Pattern Interrupt’. It’s not in the normal pattern of conversation. It  interrupts it. The brain picks out ‘not’ and ‘too’ for attention but the conversation has moved on so the abnormal not and too  hang around in the conscious waiting to be  processed.

Unconsciously you hear “I’m too wealthy”. That is an unusual thing to say and has to be processed so it can be understood. You’ve just programmed yourself because

effective suggestions are skilfully delivered to the unconscious, unconsciously

To the other party you are too wealthy and that doesn’t make sense. What does too mean? That hangs around in their mind with an association between you and wealth, whilst they try to work it out.  Since they are unlikely to have the time to think about it long enough and there are more important things to think about, it will probably stick.

The word too is too general to be given a value and so the part that they do understand is left behind – I’m wealthy

To them You are wealthy because ultimately they won’t process the rest because it’s confusing and they haven’t got time.

So, how am I today?
I’m NOT having too much fun

How are you?


images wikipedia and

News Year’s Resolution–being Resolute

determined, set, firm, dogged, fixed, constant, bold, relentless, stubborn, stalwart, staunch, persevering, inflexible, purposeful, tenacious, undaunted, strong-willed, steadfast, obstinate, unwavering, immovable, unflinching, unbending, unshakable, unshaken a decisive and resolute international leader, weak, doubtful, unresolved, undecided, unsteady, undetermined, irresolute

As we step into 2011, many will want to Change:
     change habits, appearance or other behaviours and then by end January, or soon after, the desire to change will seemingly go away.

imageThis probably happens because the foundation for change is not established before the action takes place.

It seems to me that having reasons to Change, is not a good start and using behaviours like Will Power just doesn’t work!

It’s a Double Whammy
     confronting the issue by behaving in a way that is not normal for the person who is trying to change.


How would it be if there were no reason to change?
Just like choosing a chocolate from a chocolate box or a piece of fruit from a fruit bowl –
choosing something because you fancy it.

So whatever, you fancy doing, enjoy choosing it and stop using determination, being set, being firm, being dogged, being fixed ……………………………….

Whatever you resist will persist, so be kind to yourself and enjoy your new year

image from