Don’t resolve. Evolve! Why New Years Resolutions fail

 Be(-say-do-)have Yourself!

If you are (Being) different, chances are you will Say something different that will have you Do something different so that you can Have something different.



I am delighted that John La Valle has allowed me to post the article below from his monthly newsletter for ‘The Society of Neuro Linguistic Programming’ Practitioners and Trainers’.

John is the President of the society of NLP

It fascinates me how people are steered and even stuck, by the words they use in grammatical structures that they, themselves, chose!

Their own language gets in their way!
structured to impede – structured for failure

When coaching, I aim to move the client’s reasoning out of the way.

I indirectly challenge the accuracy of their memories,
increase the amount of words that I use to describe their issue and then
agree with them a new way to summarise their issue.

The greater choice of words used in better grammatical structures, the greater the possibility. Behaviour changes, the foundation is established and the work can begin.
Just my personal preference.

In his article John explains how nominalisations impact us and he offers a way out of the trap.

I believe that Nominalisation is the most damaging aspect of all people’s stories. I describe it as  the knock out punch that renders them unconscious.

I just had to ask John if I could post his article and he agreed.
Over to John:

 

THOSE NEW YEAR EVOLUTIONS

I WROTE MOST OF this a few years ago at this time and have decided to rewrite it, add a little here and there because of its popularity.

WHAT IS IT THAT has people “make” New Year Resolutions and then “break” them? We have a local pub here that has a “Break Your New Year’s Resolutions Early – Why Wait?” party on December 30 each year. It kind of adds something to the ritual.

THE WORD *RESOLUTION* itself is a nominalization, a verb formed into a noun. It comes from the word “resolve”, which means to solve, again!! And so many people get into a pattern of re-solving old problems and then not re-solving them because they then turn the process into an event, a static event. How about EVOLUTIONS?!! Evolving continuously, doing new things, get a new look, a new walk, a new talk, a new anything!!

INSTEAD OF MAKING “Resolutions”, how about setting up new directions in which you want to be going this coming year, both personally and professionally? Now is the time to invest in yourself! The future economic predictions are that those most skilled, most savvy, most knowledgeable, are to be in the lead! The smart ones are making investments now, even in themselves!

TAKE SOME GOALS, activities, behaviours that you want to be doing, and see yourself doing those in your future, just starting in the next few moments. If you’re going to put those pictures into your future, be sure they’re of behaviours – YOURS – that’s you doing them, dissociate so you can see yourself doing them, then associate so you’ll know what you’ll be seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting. Then dissociate, see yourself doing them!! It’s in your language, too.

REMEMBER, IT’S ONE THING to have goals that are outside of yourself, like that red *Testosterosa*, but without the behaviours, you may not know how to go about getting one, or even earning the money to get one. Remember to keep YOUR goals behaviour-driven. That material thing is just the outcome of the outcome, it’s the reward for doing certain behaviours!!

And Have A Great 2013! and Beyond!

©2013 John La Valle

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In a Word (and more) NOT

I was just thinking about Facebook Posts that I have read, a phone call that I made and something else that I read, in the last 24 hours

We all throw caveats into what we say (or write)

literally throw! Just like ‘Throw Away’ lines.

These lines are like Fishing Lines. We throw the line out because we are fishing for something.  Dr Phil et al, would say we are seeking a Pay Off and I think maybe a Let off is probably more frequent and possibly more accurate.

The great thing about language is it’s impact!
At whatever level, all language is a declaration of intent and that language comes out of us at such high speed. Although it has structure and logic and reasoning, most of it has to come from the unconscious thinking because it is simply too fast to be processed consciously and delivered simultaneously. Its a skill and

all skills are unconscious

You don’t think about the skilful things you do, you just do them.
Ever driven to a destination and when you got there you don’t remember driving there?
You exercised your driving skill. You didn’t think about it.

BUT the great thing about the Caveat is its negativity, because

the unconscious cannot process negatives

That happens in your conscious thinking, not your unconscious thinking.

As an example, let’s review a typical greeting conversation:
“How are you?”
“I’m not too bad” –
there’s the Caveat.

The person uses badness as the measure just in case things go wrong. They declared a expectation that because things are (based on) bad then if things go bad its ok. Its a Let Off. They can’t be disappointed if things go wrong because they were almost expecting it.

What does the unconscious process?

Because it doesn’t process the negative ‘not’, it processes
“I’m not too bad”
That person just told themself that they are too bad

So why is this useful?

Because, if the unconscious cannot process negatives and all skills are unconscious then effective use of negatives can programme us positively!

Try these:
“How are you?”
I’m not too good” –
strange how saying that you are not too good, feels good.  Have you ever noticed that?

“How are you?”
I’m not too happy” –
makes you feel happy just saying that you’re not. Have you ever noticed that?

How are you?”
I’m not too wealthy” –
notice how rich that feels.

It is a ‘Pattern Interrupt’. It’s not in the normal pattern of conversation. It  interrupts it. The brain picks out ‘not’ and ‘too’ for attention but the conversation has moved on so the abnormal not and too  hang around in the conscious waiting to be  processed.

Unconsciously you hear “I’m too wealthy”. That is an unusual thing to say and has to be processed so it can be understood. You’ve just programmed yourself because

effective suggestions are skilfully delivered to the unconscious, unconsciously

To the other party you are too wealthy and that doesn’t make sense. What does too mean? That hangs around in their mind with an association between you and wealth, whilst they try to work it out.  Since they are unlikely to have the time to think about it long enough and there are more important things to think about, it will probably stick.

The word too is too general to be given a value and so the part that they do understand is left behind – I’m wealthy

To them You are wealthy because ultimately they won’t process the rest because it’s confusing and they haven’t got time.

So, how am I today?
I’m NOT having too much fun

How are you?

 

images wikipedia and photobucket.com

Kinetic Typography

I recently posted the following video to my Facebook page:

This video has it all!

Brilliant Art

The video is the work of Matt Rogers, freelance graphics artist and web developer  from Perth, Western Australia.

Brilliant Language

The content absorbs me. I am a coach and trainer who practices Neuro Linguistic Programming and I enjoy language!

Stephen Fry

a master of language and when he uses his skill, just like he does in this video, I am hooked!

Nominalisation

NLP Practitioners are fully aware of the impact of Nominalisations (turning Verbs into Abstract Nouns). The trouble is that most people ‘label’ themselves with nominalisations, applying nominalisations to their lives –
they say say things like: “I am a XYZ”. What they mean is that they have done XYZ, in the past.

This has them be stuck with an identity – trapped by their own words!

Matt Rogers

Matt is the creator of http://rogerscreations.com

Currently at Curtin University,  just outside Perth, studying Urban and Regional Planning, Matt has always created websites and drawings and is using  his web site to showcase how he has begun to take them more seriously.

imageHis website “is here to show and symbolise that”.
Rogers Creations was created in August 2010 with the goal of creating and sharing high class designs and knowledge, with the aim of providing free web design advice and as a personal blog.

Matt says “I am looking forward to what this website will develop and evolve into and I hope that you join me for the ride”

For the Technically Minded

Matt is a big fan of Adobe Products and often uses Flash, After Effects, Illustrator, Photoshop and Dreamweaver which are all available (except for Dreamweaver) in the Adobe Creative Suite.

Fascination

Why does the video fascinate and absorb me so? –
– Because it has extremely high quality and (excuse me) because of the verbalisation of nouns – What that be then?

An antinomilisation?

Excellent Job Matt!

 

related sites stephenfry.com rogerscreations.com adobe.com