Remember! Two, Four, Six, Eight: everybody Confabulate

Somebody posts a ‘Do you remember when xyz’ item on Facebook and I begin to experience joy.
I go for a beer with my old (familiar and old – LOL) and we natter and we become very enthusiastic about ‘the time when….’
Good old feelings arise.

DSC00060Actually most of what we remember wasn’t quite like that.

We have confabulated elements of our memories. We shrunk them down, bits fell off and we stowed them away in our unconsciousness – be there such a place. Just like a zipped down file on a computer storage device. When we pulled the memories back out again the original events weren’t like that but we got to feel something that resembled a recollection – a re COLLECTION – of feelings

They are just feelings and repeatedly running the memories will initially intensify the joy (or whatever your emotion is) and then the intensity will transform into a different set of feelings or will dissipate.

In point of fact most bad memories got bad through practice – BAD PRACTICE!
and
most good memories got good through practice – GOOD PRACTICE!
It’s all Practice, practice, practice – whatever you practice, you will get skilled at

DSC00909I may be misquoting him but Richard Bandler has said

“The best thing about the past is that it is over”.

Thinking about it that way and I have to agree.
It is how we experience what’s left behind that is important and what is left behind is not the actual event but a printed memory; an imprint. That’s emotional.

There may be physical scarring or damage but the emotional stuff is running the show.

PTSD – Post-traumatic stress disorder, no matter the event is the reaction to memories, even if it (the feelings) are suppressed. There are things that can be done using eye movement to change the emotional impact. I use Integral Eye Movement Therapy and I’ve watched the inexplicable occur as I’ve used it. I was so fascinated by it that trained to become a trainer in it!

For me Bad memories tend to lose their impact and I can keep reducing the intensity by repeating a bad memory in my mind and reducing the emotional impact deliberately. That’s not denial. It’s Adjustment! Just like using knobs and dials on a control panel.
Remember, whatever you resist will persist. Its change that is required not denial.

My control panel, is my mind:

      I can change the pictures that I see in my mind
      Push images away, shrink them down, and increase the size of images from good memories of the same event.
      Change the where I see them to different positions
      Turn sounds up and down.
      Change the sounds of people’s voices – their tonality, the words they use. Make them sound like Mickey Mouse
      I can change the intensity of the feeling – damp it down, crank it up.
      I can change the words that I use to describe the event.

There really isn’t much that I can’t do in my mind, ask any good Neuro Linguistic Practitioner.

It really is like the old gag:
“Its mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter”

There is also changing the enquiry you are having about the past:
If you don’t like the answer you get, ask a better question!

And I can move my eyes in differing patterns while I remember the event and experience it changing.

What limits our experience is how we use our mind and our body. The ‘use’ is our spirit – how we inspire ourselves.
It’s Mind, Body, Spirit, Practice and Communication

#JustSaying


According to Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confabulation

“Confabulation (verb: confabulate) is a memory disturbance, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.[1] Confabulation is distinguished from lying as there is no intent to deceive and the person is unaware the information is false …..

Musical Motivation

I was just listening to Kiki Dee ‘Loving and Free’ from her Amoureuse album.

Isn’t wonderful how music can remind us of forgotten or significant times ?
Each is times-tamped within us and it always seems to show up when it is most needed.

 

This track was significant to me when I was having a tough time emotionally as a young adult – I was , truth be known, lonely and scared about that.

The fabulous words to this song took me onto something else in my life. They motivated me and I didn’t realise it at the time.
I have never been lonely since and I rarely experience being scared as a bad thing, more so a motivator

NLP Practitioners’ will recognise that as an Anchor.
Tunes like this and Pick Up The Pieces by the Average White Band (My waiting in Queues enjoying time anchor) are my Ear Worms


Bound, I am bound, like a knot on a string
Eager to be where my life can begin
Out of the shadow and into the sun
So many things that I should have done

I will untangle myself, so that I can see
I will untangle myself, everything will be
Loving and free

Bound I am bound, like a rope on a swing
Up in the air and then down again
Sure for the first time so clear in my mind
Wise to the feeling I gently unwind


Which music or tunes have driven you to a new experience?

Sources You Tubewww.lyricsfreak.com and .wikipedia.org

Frequenting a vibration

temp

I was asked what this meant.

Here is my view:

We all vibrate – which is energy.
Everything in the universe is energy. Everything vibrates
If God is omnipotent and omnipresent, then God is everywhere all the time and is the energy (and it’s frequency) within you.
If you become aware of your state or how you are being at any point in time you tune in.
In which case you are tuning into God.

In NLP terms we observe how when people internalise, they create their reality.

Thinking, day dreaming, dreaming tend to be unconscious activities and we tend not to remember the insights we are getting whereas if we are conscious of our internal state we realise much more and have greater choice and freedom

Build a Good Practice practice practice

I was recently asked “How do I Build a Good Practice?” by two new comers to coaching. I answered Practice, practice, practice and more practice and at every level.
In other words practice all the time until it becomes unconscious so that you just BE a practitioner and what you practice just occurs whenever and wherever it is needed. Whatever your practice!

I sign up to many discussion groups and forums and online communities related to my practices. But I seem to come across one particular problem: Many contributors desire to prove that they know their subject and maybe, even worse, try to sell something based on that.
I understand the desire to exchange ideas but the problem is that the activity of practice and the learnings from practising, need to be taking place directly with people. Either face to face or one to one by phone or VOIP, rather than indirectly via a keyboard or keypad.

Learn by practising Being a practitioner is not about knowing techniques. It is about when and where. Unconsciously use the right technique that is needed and more importantly, take that technique and modifying it to match the needs of your client. True practitioners do not need to think what to apply and when. They just know what to do and when to do it. What to do if what they are doing is not working. How to switch and what to switch to…. and there is the point.

That takes practice.

When I mentor practitioners. One particular question often arises. How much should I charge?

 iStock_000019459622XSmallPRACTICE Scrabble TilesHere is an example of a typical conversation:

Practitioner “I am thinking of doing a weight loss programme”

Mentor Great! How many people, what format are you using, where, etc…?

Practitioner Oh, it’s for 10 people and …….……

Mentor How much are you charging?

Practitioner Oh, I am not charging. I need the practice.

Mentor You are a practitioner, that’s your job. You are there to practice.
You are not practicing to become something, you should continually practice to continue as a practitioner. A valuable practitioner

 

Actually, I believe that this should go one stage further. You need to practice so that you Become a valuable Servant.

What you charge should be based on a combination of the value to the client and what the client can afford.
I go as far to ask my clients what they are going to pay me.  And, having described what I am going to do, I will ask “How valuable would that be to you?”

The question is deliberate. It gives me a clue as to how the client values themself. The answer indicates what type of work and the amount of work that I will need to do.

Many practitioners price themselves too cheaply because they want to make their services available to as many people as possible. This is admirable. We are here to make a difference, to make people’s lot better BUT this is misplaced. It should not be about what the practitioner is charging, rather a combination of the value to the client and what the client can afford.
It is about the client, not the practitioner, which means everybody pays an appropriate price and in some cases the price is nothing!

If you undercharge some people they will perceive that your practice isn’t worth much and they won’t engage. If you overcharge others they will not engage either.
If your desire is to make you service easily available, charging the right amount is important.

Do not serve too many clients at one time.
That’s right! Turn business down
You have to be fit to serve so conserving your energy is paramount.

If you wish to offer your services free then make money first from those that will pay you before you offer your services free of charge to those that cannot afford you
Only offer your services free of charge once you can afford to do so and always do your best work whether you are being paid or not.

Offering services free of charge to build up a reputation, rarely works. Practitioners can end up struggling and then can’t afford to market themselves. By all means offer samples of your work BUT….
No dough, no go!

If you need to practice something new you can offer free consultation via classified advertising sites like Gumtree.com and explain why you are asking for free clients. You can also advertise in the local press.

As far as I am concerned the purpose, whatever you practice, should be that
You are there to serve.


  • Practice all the time
  • Practice one to one
  • Learn by practising
  • Learn when and where
  • BE a practitioner.
  • Be valuable
  • Be a valuable servant
  • Ask “How valuable would that be to you?”
  • Charge for the value that the client expects
  • Turn business down
  • Improve people’s lot
  • Offer your services for free occasionally
  • Always do your best work!
  • No dough, no go!
  • Serve.

Planning for disaster

‎”Most people plan by disaster. They think of what can go wrong and then they master it”

~Richard Bandler

 

Dr RICHARD BANDLER, Co-founder of Neuro Linguistic Programming and creator of Design Human Engineering(tm) and Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning(tm), has always been and remains at the very forefront of new technologies.
For the past thirty years, Richard has dedicated himself to developing new ideas tools, techniques and models for the advancement of human evolution. His genius as a trainer is world renowned.

Thousands of people provide testimony to his ability to help them to live their lives with greater happiness and freedom. He teaches with humour and joy and continues to care enough to share his newest discoveries with us.

Digging for Inspiration

by Pam Castillo

Some, inspire others by representing their message with such gusto and enthusiasm that it’s contagious. It flows to those around them and to those whom they come in contact with. This is inspiration by association. It’s not the real thing. It’s fine while it’s there, but it seldom survives a crisis or the test of time.

Imagine a a desert with no water. There are two ways to get water. One is to find a body of water elsewhere and dig trenches to carry that water to the desert. You can channel the water in but over time, the channels close off. If the water has to be brought from where water is to where it is not, it’s a fragile arrangement and easily disrupted. Another way to get water in the desert is to dig. And dig deep enough and dig far enough until you find water that is native to that place itself. When you discover what is natural, or the resources within, there is no reason that it should ever be disrupted.

When you help others dig deep enough, far enough within themselves to find their reservoir of inspiration, it lasts. It stands the test of time. It’s a wider, deeper truth and it is generative.

©2012 Pam Castillo

 

Pam Castillo is a Licensed NLP Trainer by the Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming – Richard Bandler. Pam founded Clarity Institute, where for more than 12 years, she maintains a private practice for NLP Changework on personal development issues, health and healing and loving relationships.
Clarity Institute offers NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner certification courses and NLP workshops on a variety of topics in the Los Angeles area.

Read more about Pam at http://bit.ly/APClarity

Do the Change Clearly

Many times I have heard BE the change and not DO the change. 
Whereas I agree, that all change starts with a change of BEhaviour or a change in the way we are (being), when it comes to NLP, we very much focus on what people DO.

If what they DO works, then we can learn what they DO and install that in others that can benefit from DOing things that way. Its called eliciting strategies.

I was very interested to read Pam Castillo’s take on this; how the Kinesthetic does the work.

To understand this ask any top line sportsman how they achieve their precision and following on from a visualisation ahead of the play, they will feel the action as it happens ~ they feel the ball go into the net, the arrow into the target, the shot hit the target etc.

True

by Pam Castillo

I answered the phone that morning as usual; “Clarity Institute, this is Pam. The high pitched female voice on the other end rushed through her formalities with lightening speed and garbled articulation “this is Asfansiasishisahheia Berhansiaisibdkditai (It could have been Anita Bertan or about a thousand other possibilities. I could not understand her).

Exasperated and breathy she continued at the same fast pace; “I got your name from Richard Bandler’s website, I’m an NLP trainer and yeah, so, what is the most powerful NLP tool to use?”

Silence reigned as my eyes darted from left to right back and forth once or twice, my head tilted to the side as I wondered if I heard correctly – or – had I slipped into some alternate reality? You know, that place where time and space seem to separate and nothing and everything exist simultaneously confusing.

And then with the callers same lightening speed, I quipped back with one word. “Yes.”
A simple, well crafted statement to match the caller and the silliest question I’ve think I’ve ever been asked.

Her voice now had a slower pace, a deeper tone, a skipping, hesitating articulation and just as I planned, I calibrated a confusion as she spoke next: “uh- wha, what do you mean?”

And that’s when the call turned from comical to critical.

I asked her what was important to her about knowing *the most powerful NLP tool* . She told me it was “because I have a client coming here in less than an hour and I want to use THE most powerful tool of NLP to get the change.”

Let’s be clear. NLP has never been about the tools. I’ve heard Richard [Bandler] say many times, It’s not about the tools.

Yes, the tools and techniques of NLP are powerful, everyone of them is richly powerful. What makes them powerful, is the ability to connect. To connect to the unconscious process that is happening inside someone else’s neurology. To connect at such rapid speeds that you can be a step ahead or more of someone else’s thinking and your own thinking so that you can make the decision while having extrasensory timing, a timing that others have not yet discovered. That is where one knows how and where to go next in making the desired changes.

That’s the edge a well trained and confident NLP’er has. That’s the power of NLP. It’s in the ability to connect to one’s unconscious mind and that of another’s to understand the neurology of what’s taking place to create and reveal which NLP tool to use and knowing why.

This happens so fast that if feels as natural as it does to say your own name. It happens organically, and withOut planning. It happens with talent, with experience and with a solid foundation of NLP. And it happens from having that “Go First” experience of consistently walking the walk and talking the talk of using NLP – every day in every way, to become the best you, you can be, long before you start a training career.

There is something metaphysically beautiful about watching a well trained and confident NLP’er with a solid foundation of skills -skills that have been installed. NOT taught like school, but someone who actually learned NLP by experiencing NLP with the NLP learning process as Dr. Richard Bandler developed.

It’s experiential and in my opinion, does not come from books or home study programs. When you really learn something it becomes part of every fibre of your being and it’s ageless, timeless and generative.

The call referenced here is an actual call I got this month.

I get these types and similar phone calls throughout the year. Year after year. I occasionally get students that enroll in my courses who are REtraining because their foundation is academic and not kinesthetic and they can nOt DO NLP.

Now whether it’s true or not, there is something of a magical energy a lot of people sense with respect to the creative genius and co-founder of NLP, Richard Bandler. I think there’s no coincidence that so many of these “help my NLP” calls start with “I got your name from The Society of NLP”.

NLP takes practice and the more you use it the better you get. It’s nOt about learning a bunch of things about NLP to teach the bones to others, it’s nOt about the jargon, the tools or the techniques. It’s about the ability to DO NLP and consistently get the results that makes the difference with confidence.


Pam Castillo is a Licensed NLP Trainer by the Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming – Richard Bandler. Pam founded Clarity Institute, where for more than 12 years, she maintains a private practice for NLP Changework on personal development issues, health and healing and loving relationships.
Clarity Institute offers NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner certification courses and NLP workshops on a variety of topics in the Los Angeles area.

Read more about Pam at http://bit.ly/APClarity