I haven’t got time

I have been saying and hearing “I haven’t got time” a lot recently.

It occurs to me that when people say “I don’t have time’”, that they are are actually telling me that there is something that they are in fear of. They are actually leaving something else outstanding, resulting in a stuck state.

Usually this comes out of some sort of fear and the strange thing is that whatever the fear; it  is usually quite insignificant. However, time itself seems to have taken over. Their head is full on conversation about the very thing that they are avoiding. i.e. they are putting in double or treble the effort avoiding something, rather than just doing it.

Here is a link to a conversation about that very point:   what-would-you-like-this-to-procrastinate-about-this-week

So the answer in these situations is not a time management system or even priorities.

It is usually to do with some form of prior experience where there may have been a failure, an embarrassment, an upset or something that tends towards the unpleasant. Something not to be repeated.

Breaking this down.

  • They are not being honest in the words they are using to converse with themselves.
    At worst they have become a victim of their own self talk. It could be that they are not even saying anything at all related to the subject
  • Their expectations are not being met or appear to be precarious.
  • A past routine has kicked in.
    The brain cannot unlearn anything and so if they have taught themselves a routine, the more they practice that routine, the better they get at it. The situation reminds them of a prior occasion when they used this technique.
    Like a robot off it fires and takes control.

As you can see all those issues come from past experience but the problem does not exist in the past.  It exists now. 

Some form of getting present is required, albeit meditation, a short, sharp shock, a crisis.  One of those get real moments, some form of upset or simply a change. Anything to break the trance that they are in. A Pattern Interruption, a Hypnotist would say.

A good state changer is Disassociation.
Disassociation from yourself as a captive of time to becoming a Controller Of Time

Imagine floating out of your body and seeing yourself in your stuck position.  Float all the way around yourself – a full 360°.  Notice what you notice and then, as if you were a puppeteer, move parts of your body:
Maybe add a smile to your face. Changing your body posture and relocate yourself  into a different position.
Make fine adjustments and introduce a relaxed posture!

Imagine a time that you were told in really funny joke or imagine a time when something really funny happened to you. You could even imagine that the place that you are in has transported itself to a hot sunny beach or to your favourite holiday destination. Substitute any good feeling here (the naughtier the better, I find! Smile)

Try this one:   doreens-story

Imagine floating back in to your body and NOW:
Notice how different you feel.
Notice how different things look.
Notice how different things sound

Notice how much silence there is
Notice the differences and

Notice how your state has changed NOW

Crank up all the good feelings
Get present to what needs to be done next and

JUST DO IT!

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What would you like this to procrastinate about this week?

I got into conversation with my niece on Facebook as result of a weekly Tweet and Facebook posting that I put out each Sunday:

“What would you like this week?”

It was an excellent opportunity to intervene and cause change, triggered by my friend and allowing me to communicate with her unconscious mind.

Logically, she has been processing something consciously in the same way over and over, whereas the action she needs to take does not require her to think about how she should approach the decision, rather just fulfil her decision to do whatever it is she decided to do.

By using double negatives the brain has to go searching to understand the process as well as the decision and the double negation also ’Reframes*’ the thinking about the event.

* “A frame can refer to a belief, what limits our view of the world. If we let this limiting belief go, new conceptions and interpretation possibilities can develop” ~ Wikipedia
image
memphisflyer.com

 

Here’s the conversation

my Niece responded  “I would like to stop procrastinating!!!”

my friend responded  “What is stopping you from not procrastinating?”
I asked  “Do you ever procrastinate at procrastinating?”

the conversation continued:

“Rarely, unfortunately!!!”

“Then you do not always procrastinate. So taking my friend’s question: what is stopping you from not procrastinating?”

Being lazy maybe :(”

“So being lazy is stopping you from procrastinating, which means you work hard at procrastinating.
Isn’t that tiring? I bet you feel tired now

“My laziness is the cause of my procrastination! Ha ha should I be asleep now :)”

“No, being lazy is not allowing you to procrastinate. Right?”

“I guess procrastinating is pretty lazy, so doesn’t it stem from my laziness??”

“No you are never lazy when you come to procrastinate and you are lazy when you don’t procrastinate – get it?”

“No, all these double negatives are beyond me!! Are you saying that procrastinating isn’t lazy because it means you plan to do something (even if it takes you a while to get round to doing it…)??”

“Yes, it takes lots of effort to procrastinate and a lot less effort NOT to procrastinate
So, actually, while you are procrastinating you are not being lazy, you are just wasting effort. It is just a bum choice.
Just Do It because it takes much less effort than Not doing it”

“Oh,  I see you were saying that it takes a lot of effort to procrastinate. Get it now!!! I stopped procrastinating after a few hours, so have done what I need to do now !!:)”

Her mother added  “oooohhh my poor head! lol” (- Can you guess what is happening with mother now?)