Spaced Out Unintended Arrogance?

I met up with a client yesterday. She was at the appointed spot ahead of time but the interesting thing was that I knew she was there five minutes before I arrived.  I just felt her presence.

As I exited Waterloo Station and headed  towards ‘The Southbank’ a conversation started in my head about people who are always late.

I remember watching a Dr Phil show where he was discussing the subject of  Continual I Like what yiu are doing with your hairLateness. One guy was talking about how he even gets up “10 minutes earlier to make sure that I am not late and I am still late!”
Dr Phil responded along the lines of “You are always late because you are arrogant”. I thought that interesting and I understand it but what occurred to me yesterday is that Fear may have the greater part to play in it.

Arrogance is the result of Fear. Maybe that is my assumption but I trust my gut so I know it is true.

I had a friend who asked me help her with her preparations for a significant court appearance. I was to meet her at a law practice at a given time and every occasion she was late – very late! AND there was always a justifiable reason. (But the law of averages tell you that is not possible)
Even when it came to the big day, she arrived  90 minutes late. Was that arrogance or was she confronted?

Clearly these are programmes that we run, we develop routines and habits to support how we manage time and commitments.

I have another friend who is always ahead of time. I like that. He, much as my client yesterday,  has gifted me with  time to spare.
Its also great because it is one less thing to be concerned about, by which I mean, one less thing to process and …

…. I love having space in my brain , I value it!

Brain Space

I don’t like having others take up my brain space, without my permission.
For me, having Brain Space is more space in which I can create and have great thoughts.

Thoughts are the real juice of life. They are the proof that we are alive. The source of our conscious reality. The source of pleasure and pain.

Byron Katie is one lady in particular who is a pleasure to watch whilst she thinks. You see it happen and you see the pleasure and it exudes from her and I get it!
That’s a gift!

So I guess compassion is the order of the day.
When people are continually late, they are probably fearful and may be avoiding or hiding it. They are probably less organised and that caused by lack of brain space
OR
they may be blatantly arrogant and that takes planning AND BRAIN SPACE

My friend lost her appeal, by the way. I guess that was lack of space.

Reality exists in time and space – How we use time and where we use it creates our reality be it Pleasurable or Painful.

Catcha! I’m off to think pleasurable thoughts, Just gotta get me some space.

BRING IT ON!

 

Images Southbank: http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/ 
Astronaut:
http://mysteriousuniverse.org/
Dr Phil: Various

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I haven’t got time

I have been saying and hearing “I haven’t got time” a lot recently.

It occurs to me that when people say “I don’t have time’”, that they are are actually telling me that there is something that they are in fear of. They are actually leaving something else outstanding, resulting in a stuck state.

Usually this comes out of some sort of fear and the strange thing is that whatever the fear; it  is usually quite insignificant. However, time itself seems to have taken over. Their head is full on conversation about the very thing that they are avoiding. i.e. they are putting in double or treble the effort avoiding something, rather than just doing it.

Here is a link to a conversation about that very point:   what-would-you-like-this-to-procrastinate-about-this-week

So the answer in these situations is not a time management system or even priorities.

It is usually to do with some form of prior experience where there may have been a failure, an embarrassment, an upset or something that tends towards the unpleasant. Something not to be repeated.

Breaking this down.

  • They are not being honest in the words they are using to converse with themselves.
    At worst they have become a victim of their own self talk. It could be that they are not even saying anything at all related to the subject
  • Their expectations are not being met or appear to be precarious.
  • A past routine has kicked in.
    The brain cannot unlearn anything and so if they have taught themselves a routine, the more they practice that routine, the better they get at it. The situation reminds them of a prior occasion when they used this technique.
    Like a robot off it fires and takes control.

As you can see all those issues come from past experience but the problem does not exist in the past.  It exists now. 

Some form of getting present is required, albeit meditation, a short, sharp shock, a crisis.  One of those get real moments, some form of upset or simply a change. Anything to break the trance that they are in. A Pattern Interruption, a Hypnotist would say.

A good state changer is Disassociation.
Disassociation from yourself as a captive of time to becoming a Controller Of Time

Imagine floating out of your body and seeing yourself in your stuck position.  Float all the way around yourself – a full 360°.  Notice what you notice and then, as if you were a puppeteer, move parts of your body:
Maybe add a smile to your face. Changing your body posture and relocate yourself  into a different position.
Make fine adjustments and introduce a relaxed posture!

Imagine a time that you were told in really funny joke or imagine a time when something really funny happened to you. You could even imagine that the place that you are in has transported itself to a hot sunny beach or to your favourite holiday destination. Substitute any good feeling here (the naughtier the better, I find! Smile)

Try this one:   doreens-story

Imagine floating back in to your body and NOW:
Notice how different you feel.
Notice how different things look.
Notice how different things sound

Notice how much silence there is
Notice the differences and

Notice how your state has changed NOW

Crank up all the good feelings
Get present to what needs to be done next and

JUST DO IT!